Main character of the comics, Super Root Beer Man is basically a giant human cup with a sharp with and a straw that can shoot soda. His superpowers are his awesome martial arts skills, a vast array of mostly self-invented gadgets, and some slight regenerative abilities. SRBM enjoys back-and-forth bantering with bad guys and will often take the long way around just to confront the bad guy face to face. He is one of the few that has mastered the art of roundhouse-kicks to the face, which is no small feat considering his proportions.

SRBM's archenemy, The Spider is a cyborg piece of asparagus. His mechanical lower half is packed with firepower and useful machinery. The Spider is a master of careful and methodical preparation, and once his web is spun, it takes the most clever of heroes to avoid being ensnared. (Though, to be sure, sometimes these intricate webs involve quite obvious giant robots rampaging through the city.) The Spider can outwit, outsmart, and outplan any other villain within a hundred miles of Metropia, though he will frequently involve other criminal experts in his plans. He has grown fond of dramatic monologues and SRBM's snarky banter, but usually catches on when a hero is simply stalling.

An ancient-Greek-themed hero with a vegetable twist, Spartichoke is strong, brave, and incredibly adept with technology, despite his B.C. (Before Computers) outfit. He is most comfortable walking into battle wielding a sword in one hand and a semi-automatic ray gun in the other.

Possibly the most dangerous villain in hand-to-hand combat in all of Metropia, Nuclear Toast is essentially a piece of bread who was dropped in a nuclear reactor and later got cyborg enhancements. Because he is mostly machine, Nuclear Toast has no conscience and no mercy, though he certainly knows the value of a well-placed cliché tough guy line.

Spunky, silly, sticky, stretchy, and somewhat see-through, the Jell-O of Justice raises the fun level of any superhero party. Due to his unique chemical nature, he is virtually indestructible, very resilient, and able to stretch into any shape or position. He sometimes has chunks of fruit floating inside him (which he can launch at very high speeds at any given time), but that depends on the day.

Strong, brave, loyal, and smart enough to get away with most felonies, the Drumstick Brothers are the perfect henchmen for any diabolical and food-related bad guy. Their origins are uncertain, but most theories involve someone at a nuclear power plant ordering fried chicken, and two drumsticks (most will tell you they came from the same chicken) got mutated and became evil villains.

The classic ninja french fry characters that are essential to any superhero universe. The French Fries of Fury are stealthy, speedy, and efficient, just like any ninjas, except more potato-y and golden-brown. Nobody knows their names, and few know their origins, because if you knew too much, you'd already be dead. There are many in their ranks, and each has a different fighting style. One prominent member is even a slightly-radioactive, indestructible, power-conducting element in a sinister scheme from which he escaped, but that's another story.

A band of criminals created when chemist Joe accidentally substituted toxic radioactive fluid for the mayo, the Dozen Deviled Eggs are infamous for their ability to produce massively oversized weapons, all the way from stealing parts to drawing blueprints to constructing in total secret, all in record time. On the plus side, their efficiency goes down exponentially for each member of their dozen who is absent, so it's usually possible to stay ahead of them. That is, unless someone makes it a point to break all twelve of them out of prison at the same time.